Tzahal: part 1

I can’t explain how it seems so daunting to start this. I could have written something last week or earlier today, but I don’t even remember where to begin. Now that I am on week 4 of the army and I have not kept you up daily or weekly, so where do I start.

Slowly, slowly this will be a project to bring you up to speed.

OK. To start with the army is not soooooo bad as I first thought. I mean in the week before I was having bad sleep, upset stomach and well, diarrhea (sorry to be so honest). But the first day, I realized it’s not so bad. And that feeling grew on me as the time passed.

The first day was so long. Gani my friend took me to the bus station in Haifa where I was ordered to report. The night before I came to En HaShofet and my friends made a special dinner for me. It was so nice. We just hung out had good food, laughs, and wine. I went to bed pretty early and the slept amazing well considering. The next day as I was putting on my clothes, I just kept thinking this is so surreal, what am I doing.

I am so happy and grateful that I didn’t have to go to the bus station alone. Gani took the time off in the morning from the factory to take me. And it was great he had coffee for me when he picked me up and he sat with me in the big room where we all, new soldiers to be, sat glassy and wide-eyed. At this point, I don’t know why but I was not nervous.

They called my name as one of the first and Gani and I walked down stairs to the bus I was to board. We stood there for a few minutes and then I told Gani –OK go. Thank you, but go now. And I boarded.

We went from Haifa, the top of the country to Tel Aviv to a place called the ba-coom. That is the place that they process all the soldiers coming in. It was long day of lots of girls, waiting, do this, do that, sorry I don’t understand, can you say it in English. I gave bank info, got a phone card, They took the most extensive pictures ever of my fingers and hands. Head x-rays, teeth pictures, face pictures for my ID (that took 2 hours of waiting because the first time didn’t work for some reason), interviews of all kinds, blood sample for bone marrow donation match (optional), vaccinations (only two shots and I don’t think anything too horrid, tetanus and some booster thing) and, and, and.

We got a break to eat. Army food. Yummy.

And then finally got our kitbag and uniform. So much in one day. We tried on the uniform to make sure it was fitting semi-OK. (BTW now I got it fitted because it was so huge and ugly. I wore it for 2 weeks till I got a good look in the mirror and was like –Oh God! I look like I am in a potato sack, I must fix this. Now it fits and looks good! Sexy soldier girl maybe?) Sorry I still don’t have pictures.

And then waiting to see where we would be sent. Because I was not processed with just new immigrants. So all the new immigrants boarded another bus and back up North we went. When we got to the army base it was twilight already. We didn’t do much at that point. We got another kitbag. So you picture us with 3 huge bags! And we ate and got some of the processing there done and then went to bed.

So day one was done. Day two at this point I don’t even remember as something clear. So I will just talk now about the army experience.

First of all, my base has some amazing views. I can see Tzfat and for that matter the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) and for that matter Jordan. Yes another country. The sunrise is so amazing and beautiful. I am not happy to wake up before it, but it is a nice present or consolation prize for the sleepy eyes.

There has been a lot of running, push-ups, sit-ups (this is funny: The word they call for these exercises is matsav, which means situation. So push-ups are called matsav 2 and sit-ups matsav 3. So think of how funny it sounds when you are translating from the commander- give me 30 of the second situation. Don’t sound right, right?)

In a lot of ways the most tiring thing was just the plan fact that we have so little sleep and we are up doing so much shit, bullshit for so long. Yeah bullshit. twenty seconds to run to this spot and be in order. 4o seconds to this spot.

Hearing the same things over and over, repeating things over and over. I think for the most part the food is horrible in the army. Its is just drenched in oil and salt. And we are only given ten minutes to eat each meal. And this is hard for me. I have had some tummy problems due to this stress on the body. What can I do?

We have shot two days a total of 8 or 9 times. And one thing, so when you get the gun you are like wow I’m carrying around a M-16 gun. Wow. But very soon after when the reality sets in it is not glamorous at all. Take it to the shower with you. Figure out how to go to the bathroom with it. Sleep with it under your pillow. Not to mention the fact that it weighs almost 7 pound or 3 kilos. I know that really isn’t a lot of weight, but very soon it becomes heavy. And my legs were covered in bruises from the gun.

But it was fun and scary to shoot. I did really good lying down and pretty bad on one knee and standing.

I have learned so much and I want to continue but it is late and I am really exhausted so I am sorry but this is going to have to wait till next week for a continuation.

Stay tuned. Same bat time, same bat channel.